Tuesday, July 26, 2011

can't make it a month


without going to paris... rough life i know.

we have one 3 day weekend and it just occurred. the majority of the group when to either paris or amsterdam. seeing as how hookers and hash aren't my style, i chose the best city in europe, possibly the world. yes i was there a month ago with mom but that was more of a tourist visit. this trip was relaxed because stacey is also a paris veteran so we got to do things at our own pace.

see jo. see jo ride the bus in disgust.
we left oxford at the crack of dawn friday morning to catch our bus. our travel group consisted of myself, stacey, christina, and kevin. poor thing traveling with 3 girls. we headed to london, via bus. i doubt i will make this mistake again unless 100% necessary. im not a bus fan. once in london town (before 8 am) we hopped on the tube and made our way to the eurostar train. this was my first real experience on public transportation. the train ride was about 2 hours and i really enjoyed myself. i had a window seat and stacey was my seat buddy. we were one car (or carriage as they say here) away from the snack cart and that was nice to be close to, im an avid snacker fyi. 
a neon sign saying tourist would have been less obvious.

"secret" garden by the eiffel tower
we got to paris mid morning and made our way to the best western "les theatres" .... wait for it.... IN THE RAIN! bad luck and bad weather aren't synonymous though. im a metro pro so in my newly purchased bright red poncho i guided my bright yellow ponchoed ducklings expertly to our hotel. we dropped off our stuff and started to find kevin's hotel... in even more rain. special times in paris when its raining so hard you can't see across the street to read a sign and the people you're looking for refuse to give you an address. my hotel was a stunning 68 euros for two nights divided among us (illegal guests were never discovered, anne frank should have contacted me... i work for waldo)im all for a nice hotel, but when you're there two night and will be sight seeing and going out for the majority of those 48 hours, is chic hotel worth it? no. and when you say my hotel is right by the arc de triomphe don't lie. sure its cool if it is but no one cares if it isn't. and news flash 15 minutes away isn't right by it. so after a set of vague miserable directions mother goose and the ducklings arrived. i deposited one duckling and was informed of a bike ride that had been scheduled... for those of you who know me, i do not bike. i REALLY do not bike in paris rush hour traffic... at dusk... for over two hours. so i passed and decided to  meet the group at the boat stop. took a pal with me and we sat under the eiffel tower for a while in a dog park while i chatted with locals. i've got to admit my ego was out the ceiling being the only french speaker. we met up with the boat at 10 and did a mini cruise down the seine which was nice. after that we asked the biker guide what bar locals head to. so we went with him and a few coworkers to "la dernier metro" when no one could speak english and stayed for about one drink before heading home.

we stood here for at least 15 minutes stalking
a potential photographer...
day two started off early for everyone but stacey and i. we slept in a little bit then made our way to versailles. this is one of the few tourist spots i'd never seen. i'm so glad we went! it was GORGEOUS. and beyond massive. clearly the sun king was compensating... we got within a few hundred yards and guess what... the sky opened up. so we sprinted back to the nearest establishment and waited out the rain with a crepe. once it quit we headed back and went to the gardens.

rowing is difficult
when i say gardens everything else i've ever seen claiming to be a garden is actually a patch of weeds. this garden went on for miles in all directions!! the flowers were enough but throw in the hedges a mile high, the fresh OJ stands, the sculptures, and the fountains, and you have versailles. at the end of the post i'll put up some scenery shots...y'all know how artsy i am. but as we strolled along we saw a particularly large pond... there were boats on it. naturally me being part fish, i demanded that we commandeer a vessel. and to the tune of 11 pounds for 30 minutes we did! it was beyond entertaining. i rowed since i have knowledge of boats, thanks papa, and stacey sat and photographed me and the scenery. which included a family of swans. the swans had babies with them! and as i rowed towards them and they leisurely paddled towards us i suddenly recalled that swans are aggressive and territorial, now add in some floating lumps of fluff that they're feeling inclined to defend. i nearly lost an oar trying to get us away from a white hissing beast. but we survived and it didn't rain while we were on the water! after our boating venture we headed home. the train ride is a long one... often full of asians. we saw one man sporting keds and a silver rain coat... a true gem. and he also had inner ear problems or germaphobia because he refused to sit or hold on to anything so i watched (with great amusement) as this spiky hair sporting thick frame wearing doofus fell all over the train... and then we were accosted by an accordion playing individual. he stayed on our train a good 5 stops... i nearly paid him to leave. an accordion from 3 feet away isn't nice... one played by a homeless man who hasn't maintained his instrument is torture at this distance. i nearly punched a hole in that thing.

bon soir 
i know you've seen it but this was
an especially great day for a pic
once back in the city we headed for sacre coeur. my most favorite parisian spot. stace has been coveting my white scarf so i took her to that store and got stuff for mom too! and as i was seeking out a painting for my dear mother i stumbled upon one that i would "accept" not a great one but one i could grab just to give her... FOR 1900 EURO! so a 2500 dollar painting from a nameless artist on a canvas from the streets. i nearly laughed in her face... sorry mom, no painting. after that debacle we ate dinner at the bottom at a delish italian restaurant since french food is awful. we took the metro home and touched base with the tourist half of our group and learned that the plan was to head to the eiffel tower for a nightime trip up... little did they know, it closes and the lines are miles long. oh well. we all met up there for one of the boy's birthday's at midnight! we sang happy birthday to him in french at midnight under the tower and popped a bottle of champagne! i'd kill for that french of a celebration. most of the girls headed home and we sat with luke and kevin and our third roommate christina for a while longer before dragging our exhausted behinds home to the best western...

copines.
sunday may have been my favorite day yet. THE TOUR DE FRANCE WAS ENDING IN PARIS! hah like i could care less... i hate cyclists and i think those road bikes should be illegal. so stacey and i stayed as far away from the crowds of asians as possible and let our friends take photos for us. we headed to rue cler for a market run. fresh EVERYTHING. bread, meat (ew saw a chicken with talons and face on it) fruit, veggies. you name it they just picked/made it. we stocked up on baguettes, cheese, fruit, and tartes and headed back to the eiffel tower. we looked like locals with our picnic. so fun playing music and basking in the sun, which is such a rarity in oxford... there were tourists by the thousand and we watch two girls make fools of themselves and give americans a bad name. cartwheels, handstands, legs propped up anything embarrassing you can do with your body in public they did in front of the eiffel tower. yelling at each other to move left right up down ha ha ha all the while. i was ashamed. stacey and i were much more discreet with our tourist shots.

we headed home, picked up our luggage and got on our train home. sad to say au revoir to paris, but strangely homesick for oxford. home meant homework. so we worked on our train and bus ride and some very tuckered kids got home sunday night.

versailles flowers

the rain foiled my photos

so upon arriving to windsor castle in a torrential downpour my faithful friend said "oh you wont need anything, can i put my ipod in your purse" so i let him and promptly left my purse on the bus... with my phone and camera in it. basically there is no evidence i went to windsor castle. im fine with that it wasn't that cool. the highlight was a doll house. someone with way too much money and time on their hands made a mini house. everything in it works. from the lawn mower to the plumbing, its a mini home. quite charming, if not slightly creepy. also due to rain and guests being sopping wet and damaging things, most parts closed. so we sat at a coffee shop for an hour. they had delish hot chocolate though. i stole that photo from facebook. nelly and i are just too cute right?

after windsor (which was monday afternoon the 18th) we came back to school. hey a day with shorter/less class is still a good day in my book.

cotswolds. a ruin. 
the same week we skipped out on thursday the 21st for cotswolds and kelmscott. again, we weren't lucky in the weather department... it was pouring again. our bus took us first to cotswolds. then we hiked up to the actual site of cotswolds... in the rain. really a lovely time for a stroll. not to mention 2/3 of our group has some form of pneumonia by now. im not sure how im remaining healthy but knock on wood i've yet to get sick! fun fact of cotswolds. some man fled there and had an old friend brick him into a wall to hide... the old friend died. no one ever found him until he was a skeleton in the closet.
are we at cotswolds or kelmscott or do you care?
cheers to losing taste buds for a drink that doesn't need them.
we got back on our buses (still in the rain) and headed down the way a little bit to kelmscott... once we got there we realized something was off. we were missing two members of our group. specifically two boys. once they were contacted they were told tough luck, catch a bus home. if this had happened to me i would have probably caught a flight all the way home. we were only 20 minutes away and they wouldn't consider going back for them! it was semi their fault because we were told to go back to the buses but i'd still have been relatively irate. but im sure its different for guys. kemlscott followed suit and refused indoor photos... the owner of this home is some designer and maybe i have bad taste but it looked like every pattern on earth threw up on a wall. not my favorite stuff. and the ceilings were for midgets. the stairs were alternating as in one foot went up at a time left right left. how did kids every run down the stairs? im sure he had paraplegic children within a month. so we sat in the garden in the rain for a while, enjoying scalding hot watered down hot chocolate.

just for you mom :)
one thing the kelm had in its favor was orchids. i've never seen one growing in the wild (or not in a pot) but they had some that were really pretty! now that im mostly up to date on the blog i've got to do some much needed laundry. next to come is my weekend in paris which was incredible, and my thrilling evening sitting at the high table for dinner. tomorrow we leave for london for a 3 day excursion so hopefully tonight i can squeeze in details from dinner & paris before im behind again. hope i'm still as entertaining as watching your grass grow :)

as museums go...

chunk of the parthenon the brits stole from greece.
i'm not a fan. the frist at home holds my interest, as do a few sculpture gardens, and certain parts of the louvre. but in general i'm not into waltzing around a massive building full of things that don't impact me. call me snooty but why should i care? i'm a horrible artist so i really just wind up feeling bad about myself.

see jimmy. see jimmy run.
see jimmy get histoplasmosis.
after st. pauls we had a little picnic in the park. adorable, we know. imagine approximately 50 college kids picnicing, now say awww. no we're not cute we're essentially a group of adults. that is of course until the inner child comes out. and did it ever. one of the guys in our group is apparently the self proclaimed pigeon man. you know how i feel about pigeons, rats with wings, the plague in the air, vermin, filth etc etc etc. jimmy thought it would be hilarious to throw the birds a piece of bread and then race into their midst hoping to catch one. the only question i have is what would he have done had he gotten a hold of one? been pecked blind? been pooped on without a doubt, and he'd probly have been so excited he'd have squeezed the poor thing to death. it was disturbing and lucky for us he didn't discover his love of pigeons until the end of our lunch.

rosetta stone
poor simba.
after the lunch we walked to the british museum. there are apparently lovely things here but i was held captive by my teacher. my class was the ONLY class who had to tour with her. and when i say tour i mean people followed us around because she talked so much in front of each piece people assumed she was a guide. we looked at approximately less than 10 pieces in nearly 2 hours. granted we saw some cool things like the rosetta stone! and some that were horrific like assyrian lion hunt wall reliefs. looking closely at the photo you will see a lion that has been hunted by an assyrian king. this man (whose name escapes me...shocking i know) was clearly bloodthirsty and cruel. the lion has been shot in the back, it is now paralyzed, dragging its back legs, and throwing up blood. fair sport right?

she stopped and talked about a head for approximately 40 minutes, the bronze head of augustus. nothing spiffy just a bust. everyone was on the verge of fainting because just like their bars, the brits don't air condition their museums. while she rambled about this eerie head i noticed something worth looking at. an alligator suit of armor! its the only one intact in the world. very cool. not the best photo but its was fascinating to me.

carmen, saira, stacey, some stranger.
after the museum, which seemed to drag on forever, probably because i was miserable and forced to sweat while looking at things that don't interest me at all.... we headed to the tower of london. this is an ominous place which is home to the crown jewels and probably some of anne bolyne's dna. (she was beheaded here) they also have ravens, which are not, as i thought, like crows, but more like a black eagle. easily a foot long and tall. solid black and so creepy. they have signs everywhere warning that they bite. if a raven bit you i bet you'd lose a finger. so i didn't mess with them. we waited in a bizarrely long line to see the crown jewels. i understand the line. they're INCREDIBLE, each door protecting them weighs 2 tons each. and photos are strictly not allowed. its the most secure location within the area. after the tower we headed to our 4 hour boat ride. this was actually a booze cruise. please note the photo BEFORE the boat.

carmen, myself, and adam at dinner. 
they didn't know what they were getting themselves into putting all of us on a boat with a bar and no activities. they didn't even list the locations we were passing. needless to say that was one of our more out of hand nights, but all in good fun. we had a nice dinner early in the ride. there were many occasions at the bar when people would order a bottle of wine (it was cheaper to get a bottle and just share) and the bartenders would ask how many glasses. sadly several individuals replied "a straw" highly entertaining evening. lots of dancing and laughing and then a bus ride home... they had barf bags thank god, because yes people vomited on the bus... how foul. i was asleep thank goodness. once home we all crashed and i stayed in town for the weekend.

i know you've missed me, almost as much as i miss the sun

HELLO, a ghostly version of my usual summer self here! this is a real post. im terribly sorry its been so long but im fairly sure that there are less hours in a day over here. i never have time! but i've been exceptionally busy and loving every minute of it! since my last post i have been to the following places: london, windsor castle, cotswolds & kelmscott manor and paris (each doesn't garner its own post of course but i may do that just for reference and in case y'all can't sit and read for hours, also my photo spacing is temperamental so to give each one its own deserving attention i'll split things up into small groups or solo posts as needed.)

st. paul's (outside)

I'll start chronologically. we went on a day trip to london friday the 15th. our day began at st. paul's cathedral. i've been to MANY churches in my day... catholic school saw to that but st. paul puts everything i've seen to shame. if you have any sort of an inclination towards a god of any kind-pay him a visit here. i've been to rome & i've seen st. peters sure its great but does it have 7 MILLION mosaic tiles in the ceiling? no, but st. pauls does. also if you stand at the top of the dome and whisper someone across can hear you. apparently people propose there. (i personally would rather have my soon to be fiance in reach once he pops the question but hey to each his own.) of course, like so many of the frustrating trips we take, photos are forbidden indoors. i think this is about as stupid as can be. wouldn't a tourist attraction want people taking pictures to show off and say look where i went don't you wanna go? well luckily for st. pauls, i'm spreading the word. as many of you know stealth is my middle name & mrs. doubtfire was my tour guide. so with my flash off i proceeded to snap some illegal shots to the best of my ability to show you what you better come see. the ceilings were the most impressive by far. but its hard to be discreet looking up so i did my best & earned myself a few photos of my own chin, but two turned out very well. enjoy:
stealth shot of the ceiling...
7 MILLION tiles
best i could do, gives you an idea of
size & how ornate it is

Thursday, July 21, 2011

a long week!

these are the fools i have to deal with on a regular basis...
i know its been AGES (8 days exactly) and SO much has taken place... now isn't a good time to update but tonight when i return from my field trip i will fill y'all in on it all WITH pictures :) tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn i leave oxford for paris! my favorite european city ever of course. so i hope this tiny morsel of hope is enough to keep you drooling for my MASSIVE update which will arrive in approximately 8 to 10 hours.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

napping is key here

i have had two naps thus far and they've both treated me nicely. i've gotten lucky with my curtains. they're hideous but a dark color, most people have pale ones and can't block out excessive light, mine do.
view straight out the window over my desk...not too shabby :)

the past two days (tuesday and wednesday) have been great. i'm starting to this they'll all be great. its a tad chilly, which is actually for the best... since nothing is air conditioned here. the bars are really the only place it gets me. ordering water goes over really well with british bartenders. the first glass is fine... by the end of the night my sweaty self was only earning half full glasses with no ice. they were displeased... i could have paid for the h20 sorry i sweat. maybe if you air conditioned your bars i'd order a drink instead.

meg the mutt
tuesday was our first lecture & high table. we have a lecture before dinner. all fancy and such ;) our lecture tuesday was a charming man who has been at oxford since the 1800s according to him... we had a mini history lesson for the most part. when women were allowed etc etc. apparently when oxford started the townspeople would regularly murder students, glad thats no longer a tradition. oh and on another positive note-hitler was a huge supporter of oxford. after our fancy dinner, which was thank god not lamb this time i went to see my favorite oxford employee. colin. he is such a doll. he's our porter (door man) and he brings his dog meg to work. she has an official oxford university college bandana. there is also a tortoise named percy. he's not as fun to touch as meg for obvious reasons but he's rather adventurous and was a gift from SMU so he deserves mention...i guess.

saira, me, stacey, shannon, clara, before 
after dinner we all concluded since wednesday class was only going to be 45 minutes we would do the only logical thing... go out. so we went to a bar/club called camera. which was fun, but this was where i had to order water. the bars here are more like clubs, dancing is the more popular activity. adam, a new friend is possibly the most entertaining dancer i've ever seen. it must have something to do with his long hair and 6'5 frame. our group is fairly close knit so its always entertaining when some creepy older dancer would try and infiltrate our circle they were promptly edged out.

the main entrance to the palace
gardens

class came all too early as always, but today we only met for 45 minutes before going on our first field trip! as a child i always loved field trips because my mom always drove so i felt cool and popular. today however a mute drove our bus the approximate 20 minute journey away to blenheim palace! the duke lives here, currently. i may or may not have seen him strolling around in some sweats having a sammich on the lawn. casual.. but a bit stand off-ish because he won't allow photos to be taken in his house. outside is free game though. he has a lovely garden and massive palace. after our tour with a small man who had a lisp and a middle part of thinning hair we came home. and yes i did say our tour with a man who has a lisp. how on earth you get a job as a tour guide when you're not an eloquent speaker is a total mystery to me. he was also one of the most retiring men i've ever come across. our group of 70 (divided up for tours) is intimidating im sure but still... also he is unobservant. clearly we're a group of college aged americans yet some how this middle aged ASIAN man, yes they still haunt me but not to the levels of excess as before, was in our group. our private tour funded by our tuition had a leech... who was always in the front listening to things i couldn't hear. rude. get out of my space small tan man. i don't like you, not one bit. after the tour we headed home and i hit the books. we've covered the entire odyssey in 3 days time. yes an epic tale, that there are entire classes based on was covered since monday... i have a test in it tomorrow. not looking forward to it but hopefully it'll go well. my first paper was well received, a B/B+ with several comments was nice to discover today. my next one is due tuesday. several people are going to london this weekend, but i have way too much school work to afford two days off. we're all going as a class to london friday! we have a cruise too i'm very excited. more pics to come as always! but for now... goodnight
my birthday roses from papa in full bloom! 

Monday, July 11, 2011

are you alright?

birthday girl quickly breaking the rules!

either british people are very concerned, or "Are you alright" means can i help you in oxford slang... just a thought of the day. anyway! sunday & our first day of classes....
the main quad of oxford university
college, home for the next 5 weeks!
please excuse the visitor.

my friend stacey and i at our reception after convocation
sunday (my birthday, just as a reminder) was a laid back day. at 1:30 we had a tour of oxford & walked around for about two hours hitting the major points. our guide was a scottish lady, i informed her of my love for her country. we had our convocation ceremony in the chapel which is so gorgeous. they have painted windows, not stained, painted. it might be prettier than stained glass... after that we had dinner... and the dinner the night before was a cold meal, so i was crossing my fingers for some warm sustenance... the 1st course of gazpacho was not inspiring. but our food was served warm! however it was lamb... so i had some potatoes. we sit in a harry potter esque dining hall which i love. in fact the dining hall where they filmed harry potter is just down the street!

I live in a tower which only has 3 rooms as i said. my room is quite nice so stacey has moved her mattress into my room and we're roommates :) after dinner she had a paper to write, but i being the ever prepared in advance type had already finished. so i watched a movie and went to bed. (after i forced an engineering student to help me with my internet). the sun rises at 4:30ish here so sleeping with curtains open is a big mistake, one i wont make again soon... at 5:00 there was some sort of car wreck out front and then before i knew it my alarm went off for class!

our welcome banquet. very formal...with cold soup
day one of classes: breakfast isn't the best meal here but we ate and headed to class! we lecture from 8:45 to 10:15 (my first class is class and gender in ancient society) then we have a tea break and head back for more of class # 1. my teacher in this class is a lady from SMU. her child is here which i think would be beyond boring for a 9 year old or lead you down the path of being a freak forever. after class we have lunch. the only meal which will keep me alive at this rate. normal food at normal temperatures.

after lunch we have a break and then meet with our tutorial teachers. mine is named michael nicholson. he's the dean... casual i know. he is also what i presume is a functioning alcoholic. not only have i heard rumors. but  the evidence is everywhere. he actually has trays of cups and shot glasses... and bags of multiple bottles of wine/booze. but i can tell he's awesome because he mutters things under his breath all the time. after our hour with him stacey and i ran some errands. i now have a european phone if anyone wants to call or text that i think you dial +44 then 07741621969 i have no idea why their phone numbers are so long. its a pain.

this afternoon before dinner i had my first small group tutorial. me and my tutor and two other students will meet with him to discuss papers. since mike (my blog name for my prof) has already mortified me infront of my whole class by pointing out that i am the only nerd who turned in the paper early he announces he's already read mine and i don't have to read. SCORE! anyway the poor girl who ended up voluntarily reading hers is a moron. literally couldn't pronounce horace walpole (our author) or manfred/hippolita (character names) or the title of the book she said ontranto with a yankee a the whole essay.. its otranto with a short a. awful. and her paper was literally a summary. i felt so bad for her. thankfully we didn't end up discussing it...possibly because it was so bad? anyway after that was dinner which wasn't as bad as the cold meal.

now its time for me to decline pub invites and go read homer's odyssey... so fun.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

a british birthday!

hello my lovely readers, i actually am just assuming everyone is lovely since i can't see y'all. i know i look my best when i blog!

so sorry i haven't updated recently & sadly i have no pics to put up yet either but once i settle into a routine (and don't have to come to starbucks for internet access) i'll become more regular in my world updates.

mom and i left london bright and early at 8 am friday...why, yet another great idea for our travel agent to have. make them leave london, a huge city with tons to do, to get to oxford, a small town where hotels wont let you check in at 9 am.... great, not. so we get to oxford & find our hotel. its freezing and raining and my newest mantra is "im so cold im dying i can't stay here i have to go home." We had to leave the fire place to trek for goods, specifically crispy m&ms that mom can't live without. university college, where i'm studying for the next 5 weeks, is about 30 minutes away... in the rain. so sad so cold. but the rain let up and we survived the hike.

oxford university college is BEAUTIFUL. the doorman, colin, is the most charming yet dentally challenged brit i've met yet. he's all bark and no bite. so gruff but such a marshmallow. we've got a pic but its on moms camera. the grass is tempting, mostly because its off limits... here's a secret I ran across it for a photo last night as my first rebellious act as a 21 year old! the dorm rooms are small but homey & somehow im one of the only people satisfied with their room. probly since i never filled out the housing form? laziness pays off. im on the top floor with a corner room & incredible views (photos to come soon i promise!) there are only 3 rooms, mine and two other girls. one is my great friend stacey & the other is a muslin girl named siara. (sigh-ruh) she's actually fascinating. i'm planning on learning a lot. she's engaged (to another muslim) who will ride a white elephant into their wedding. she's cool im excited about my living situation for the next 5 weeks!

mom helped me unpack and get settled. and after a tearful goodbye, i settled in to my new home. i'll miss switching hotels every night with mom but its nice to have stability. my first purchase was a fan...the dorms aren't air conditioned. but its nice with the fan & windows open! my dad sent me birthday flowers which are lovely :) and are in a lovely coffee pot vase in my room.

everyone in the group is great & before going out for my birthday we went to the beer cellar on campus! so cute & i've never been to a bar on a campus somewhere.  the bar we went to afterward was called the purple turtle. its underground... interesting crowd but fun & not airconditioned... i got free drinks and saw some interesting things. my friends are the best & i had a great birthday song played for me at midnight. after sweating and drinking and telling anyone with ears it was my birthday we walked home. don't worry...in a large group. some father figure named luke is super into "taking care" of people and honestly im glad he walked with us, most of the other guys with us were semi-impaired. some hoodlums on bikes taunted us a little bit but otherwise we were fine. and home sweet home was only 7 flights of stairs up... but i slept like a baby in my twin bed. and today we start things at 1:30 with a walking tour of oxford. i'll take pics for y'all

miss and love everyone!
love, the birthday girl :)

Friday, July 8, 2011

leaving london

this post will be about as short as my stay in london. nothing much went on and no pics were taken. once again my stay in london was less than 24 hours. my only consolation is that i'll be able to come back multiple times over my remaining 5 weeks. we got in from scotland, and yes again, entered the country without any passport info being exchanged. im sure something illegal is going on.

anyway upon entering our hotel we quickly made use of the tube and went all the way across the city and into the suburbs to the burberry outlet! im not usually an outlet shopper mostly because i never know how to find and outlet but i loved this. everything is reduced so im convinced im getting quite the steal. one of the sweaters i got was 200 pounds less than it usually was so im proud of that. the purse selection wasn't the best but if you know me you know i don't need any more.

michaeljackson.jpgafter that, which took much longer than anticipated, we had to head straight to the theater for the evening's entertainment. hello michael jackson. i love a good musical and this was no exception. i loved it even more probly because i knew 99% of the songs they sang. from the bleached hair on the black boy with a belly button ring to the hot pants on a brunette skank, this show didn't miss a beat. they all sounded just like mj and they danced like nothing i've ever seen. oh the pelvic thrusts. john travolta should take a note from mj.

oxford in the moring (technically im in oxford right now but i'll post about it later)

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

calling keira knightley...


I cannot understand how a period film hasn’t been made about Scottish history.  Mary queen of scots was a tragic woman. I now know, thanks to the past 3 days of being drown in Scottish history, more about her than I know about many American historical figures.  She was fascinating and tragic. Feel free to Wikipedia her, I’m refusing to perpetuate the cycle of forced education I’ve been subjected to. 

Today was nice, we slept in (to the late hour of a tad past 8) and did as we pleased. Breakfast is my most important meal of the day because its my only decent one. So after that we headed out into a rainy forecast.  after a hike in search of art for mom we got on a tour bus, but this one I could exit at any time so I was comfortable. the drivers are very bold with their parking... see photo. It was here that we met the only horrible person we’ve encountered abroad. Sadly she is American I think.  We got on the double decker bus and sat on the bottom to avoid the rain, plus we assumed it was full.  In the back row we were two of 4 passengers below deck. The closest woman was 4 or so rows ahead. Mom and I conversed about things as we passed and occasionally laughed (we are both highly amusing people, as im sure you know). This woman kept glaring (and I mean if looks could kill I would have died 1000 deaths glaring) back at us. We got head shakes, we got shhhhed it obviously only entertained us more, because we weren’t even being obnoxious. Her poor husband who was in the row in front of her was none the wiser. We got up a few stops later to venture up top. As we passed her this woman said wahoo or something to that effect. I snapped. I quickly turned around and as close to her as I could get informed her that there are no rules about not talking on a bus. She said she was trying to hear the commentary and I laughed in her face and walked to the steps. I turned around and said if you can’t hear the announcements over an intercom system how could you hear us? And she flicked me off. Aside from verbally assaulting her (I’m not a fan of attacking defenseless idiots with words they doubtfully understand) I had no choice but to feign shock and horror and grab my wounded heart. She was a beast. I hope she loses all hearing. 

We had lunch at spoons café. This is where j.k. rowling wrote the first chapters of harry potter! I was in love, since im a huge fan. And their food was actually decent! After this mom found some art she liked. We spent the better part of the morning wandering down a gallery lined street. She found nothing there which is shocking. The art ranged from pieces by artists who have been dead 100 years priced well over 2000 pounds, to paintings of naked girls asleep called “Where d’ya sleep last night” that im sure the artist can’t give away. Anyway the prints mom got are of highland animals. Adorable. We headed to Edinburgh castle.  Its very large and not that interesting. We saw the crown jewels which I’d have loved to have tried on but the massive sword next to the crown dissuaded me. there are canons here, since it was a castle that had to defend itself, and they are massive.  i was tempted to follow the lead of other tourists and take a photo while sitting on one but i behaved.  there are also guards here, they're not supposed to smile etc, all boring but its my favorite thing to wait until they blink, or force eye contact until they stop looking straight ahead. missing accomplished today! 
just before the flash flood
once we had completed our whirlwind self guided tour of the castle we headed home. it is here i'd like to mention that self guided tours are always best when in a hurry, they enable you to skip boring things and only take photos of cool things. also at this time let me add that it had started to pour down rain. we had no umbrella because we like testing mother nature. so i am now the proud owner of a black plastic poncho that says edinburgh castle on it... 

once home we barely made it to our spa appointments for manicures and pedicures...  i almost wish i hadn't gone. its always nice to have new polish on though. im not sure how long my polish will stay on because eva (idiot spaniard who did my nails) didn't even use a base coat. she stabbed me frequently with a wooden cuticle stick and scalded my feet in the pedicure tub. mom's little pal however was chatty cathy. i learned about her family, friends, her friends' families. so fascinating. she's 20... eva has her chin pierced and 7 holes in her ears and two visible tattoos. over all it was a nice end to our last day in scotland :( room service for dinner again as we frantically packed our ever expanding suitcases.

london tomorrow! can't wait to see stacey!! and we're going to the michael jackson musical. yes im excited. i can only hope bubbles is mentioned and or featured. if you don't know who bubbles is in relation to mj im ashamed to have you reading this. cheers!

i think her day off is tuesday...


Or my vision is failing me and I missed seeing nessie. Although the water in loch ness is literally black so it would be hard to see much of anything. And yes its loch ness. Loch means lake, so old hickory loch… I’ve been wrong all my life. Ness is an obscenely large lake, the world’s population could fit in it…10 times.  But our day didn’t begin with the lake, we were well into our 12 hour bus ride before we got there.  
This tour was very different from the trip to st. Andrews. For example it started at 8:15… and no one on our bus was really friendly, 4 of them were Asian people so y’all know my thoughts already. One Asian girl in particular held my interest, I believe she had SARS or some animal flu. She sneezed and coughed the whole trip and always checked her tissue for what I assume would be blood. She also drank some syrup twice within 12 hours, and took 5+ pills twice. She is clearly dying. Today’s guide was named mike, and he was just as informative as pete, but much more reserved. He also is a musical man, he played various Scottish songs for us, all day long. And they were great, until mom and other bus riders learned the chorus and we developed some form of an accent-less sing along. 

This tour took us into the highlands of Scotland which are beautiful. They’re famous for their highland cows, sadly I didn’t get to pet one. Scotland also has a lot more forest than I thought. These heavily wooded areas are obviously home to multiple mammals so I had my face smashed against a window for 12 hours and I don’t think my nose will ever be the same. However my searching was rewarded, I saw a few Scottish red deer! And a wild goat (on the cruise on loch ness). Mike (our driver) was a fan of coffee stops, he’d pick a photo op stop every now and then and give us less than 10 minutes to snap a few post card worthy shots and then we’d come to what I imagine is the Scottish equivalent of a Podunk boony town and give us 30 minutes… I could probably meet everyone in the town and know their life story within 20 minutes.  But on one of the stops we came across a bagpipe player. He wasn’t playing when we discovered him, just posing. So naturally mom and I took the photo op. mid picture this man started playing… I said what the rest of the day anytime someone spoke to the right of me. Im deaf now. 
We saw a commando memorial, and that isn’t a monument for someone who never wears undergarments, it has to do with war veterans. However the Indian girl getting her picture taken in front of the statue wasn’t bothered by the wind gusts blowing her dress up and giving everyone a chance to speculate if she was a commando under her tights… 

one of the places we stopped was incredible! I love a good waterfall stop. It takes me back to Pocahontas when she’d dive over one. I’ve always wanted to do that but I’ve never been suicidal so the opportunity hasn’t come yet. It was on the way home that we came to this waterfall.  It proved quite the hike for some of our less fit passengers. One couple sitting behind us didn’t fare too well. They were red faced and huffing in a foreign language… this same language was spoken on the bus. The entire 12 hours I don’t think there was a collective 10 minutes of silence. By the end of the trip I nearly lost it.  While on the boat trip on loch ness I witnessed a fight.  This fight took place between two much older, much heavier set men. They were arguing about seating areas for their families. One man warned the other “not to have a friggin coronary” which I found ironic since he seemed one fist shake away from triple by pass surgery.  This fight was completely pointless. The boat held 120 people, only 70 something people were on board. Embarrassing for their seated families. Also on the trip today I saw my first Scottish cross dresser…twice! At loch ness I noticed him. He is a man dressing as a woman, he has on a skirt and a bandana with fake hair coming out the back. His bra is stuffed with what I assume would be sand? It was an age appropriate gravitational substance… and his fake butt was my favorite. It gave the illusion that he waddled it was massive. Later at a pit stop he appeared again which is odd, because it was a boony stop. And even more bizarre was that he had changed his skirt within the hour.  
Once home mom and I stumbled down the streets of Edinburgh back to the hotel. Room service is now our best friend. The little man who delivers knows our orders (we eat pizza because all Scottish food is disgusting). Sorry this is a day late! But better late than never. I was literally a vegetable after a 12 hour bus tour. No one is meant to be in a cage that long. I can truly understand why hamsters eat their tails off sometimes. 

Monday, July 4, 2011

SCA, my kilt had nothing on scotland

sadly, nothing went on yesterday that will interest you. so i didn't bother blogging. literally the highlight was watching a show based on cars starring midgets. i would put it in game show category just guessing by the laugh tracks and lights. today however was event filled to say the least! edinburgh is a small city (big by scottish standards though) and i love it! tons of culture and shopping-what a great combo! our hotel is right by the edinburgh castle. (featured right) we have yet to tour it but everyone says its a must see. clearly its massive so im excited about it.

today was our first full day of scottish life. and it started early! our tour started at 9:30 and they request you come earlier than that and we had to take a cab to get there, AND breakfast at the hotel was a must. first of all i have to attend every continental breakfast ever in case they have mini preserves. they seem quite popular in europe. in the states they're obscenely difficult to come by. my roommate collects them, and she isn't abroad to obtain miniature preservatives this summer so we're going to have a joint collection when i get back! 

so the tour... i've never been one for tours, i much prefer to self navigate and explore my surroundings, clearly its served me well so far. however, im not fully against tours, they're informative and you are taken to your destination which would have otherwise probably been impossible to get to.  our 16 passenger van, driven by pete, was late. so i hopped across the street to my first international starbucks! surprise, just like most mass distribution it tasted the exact and delicious same as always. so now that pete is off on a bad foot with us he speaks... by speaking he is immediately forgiven and sin he has ever committed or that his children will ever commit. i fell in love with his voice. it seemed the safer choice because the salt in his salt and pepper hair was a warning..the wedding band was the kill shot. i could only love petes voice. 

as we left edinburgh we stopped on queensferry road where peasants used to make pilgrimages to take the ferry across to see st. sndrews. this bridge pictured is made entirely of steel, more than the eiffel tower, and none of it is welded! it was built in 1890 and is still in use for trains! of course the one for cars that was built in the 60s needs repair and is sinking... way to go engineering people (ahem alex carr) we had a photo opp moment and then headed on to our first fishing village of the day. 

now is a good time to look at the 13 people in the van. myself, mom and our driver are not under investigation. we have barry and alma from southern california/boston. favorite couple for sure. such angels, very knowledgable and sweet! would literally talk your face off and you'd say thanks afterwards. the ginger twins. yes i know twice the thrill for me! they're sisters from kentucky, different as night and day. one is chatty cathy and my best friend, shared her new book, we talked burberry bags, and eventually bonded enough for her to slug me in the arm. the other sister once remarked on the weather. thats it, and she never took off her sunglasses... it rained. moving on from my 4 favorites that leaves 9 people. in short two of those were teenage/early 20 year old girls who kept to themselves and seemed normal. down to 7. two more of those were a set of cig smokin cargo pant wearin lesbians. they were quiet but seemed nice. the final twosome is ozzy osborne and husband. they were a spanish couple. this poor woman (in her defense it was a windy day) literally looked like ozzy. and her husband was boring. judging by how they smelled i think they walked from spain and brushed their teeth with any dead sticks covered in mud they could find. i almost passed out the second ozzy raised her arms to adjust the AC (which was weak at best) keep in mind she is behind me and im still overcome by her BO. there are only 3 people on the bus i've yet to tell you about... the family. this man is bold enough to sit shotty on a tour, and talk petes face off about random thinks like being left handed. (true example) dad is too cool in his elvis shirt and jeans, a real cool dude kind of guy, but still maintains his macho of purple and blonde wifey. she is the type of woman i will never be. i guareentee her own husband hasn't seen her without make up on. and at the start of the trip her fake golden locks were curled into ringlets. she took pictures with her ipad (which dad didn't condone). and then there is kid. kid is about 11 or 12, somewhere in that awkward phase... sporting a harry potter tshirt im inclined to give him a chance, but then i observe. he has the hallmarks of a homeschool kid. must be constantly stimulated at all times, or being paid attention to by closest parent. he sat by mom and played video games WITH THE SOUND ON the entire ride. if he wasnt doing that he was leaning all over mom, hello age boundaries. he's a preteen. he lacked any social development skills. a bug that i killed (large bug, not a bee) one the bus window unpon reentry fell (to its death) in his seat. i sat down assuming no one would notice if they sat on a dead mosquito type bug. this was literally the most interesting debate topic a politician would ever speak on. was it a bug? someone killed it. how did it land here? can it sting me? does that mean its a bee? will you move it? are you afraid of it? i nearly lost it but i managed to keep from laughing/smacking them both upside the head by digging my fingernails into my palms. i'm still making fists involuntarily. i hate the family.

gulls love tide being out. 
once we stopped we had come to the village of fife. a fishing village that has a lot of dogs and ice cream. two plusses for me. their harbor is unique. once tide goes out, its all gone. the boats are on the ground. and they have two tides a day and they're massive, but move in and out slowly. i wish i had been able to stick around long enough to watch tide come in. its weird seeing a hundred or so boats on the ground. apparently scotlands most famous fish & chips were in this village. the family had to get some... they waited so long that the bus had to wait for them and our time at st. andrews (the principle destination for the day) was cut short by about 20 minutes. after the fishing village we headed to the golfer's mecca. i'm convinced every tee box is facing st. andrews. its incredible. a tee time is hard to get though, hard as in you're on a waiting list for a year and 1/2. so sign up now and start praying for good weather. 
the course is right by the beach so we moseyed down and noticed a difference, people here have dogs at the beach. they all seemed to love it and i played fetch with someone's border collie to the point that i looked up and was stuck in a tide pool. from dalmatians to sheepdogs any dog on the beach was in the water. so adorable. scottish dogs in general are fun. the ones in paris and venice seemed ready to snap off a pinkie for a snack. but here the owners are happy to chat you up while their dog goes belly up. this is a godsend because im missing my pooch terribly. today someone was teasing his dog about being worthless (a jack russell so it kind of was worthless) and he said "you're a total poodle" i was so close to informing him of his grievous error but i held my tongue. 

the garden, one of many lovely flowers
after st. andrews we headed to a palace. the name is escaping me currently as it is later here than there and i have another tour to wake up for in 6 & 1/2 hours... joy. but we weren't allowed any pictures inside. the amount of pictures i took in the garden more than made up for it though. this was the home of the first tennis court! we headed home at a rate of speed indy would penalize. i've never been able to use the word careering without being called dramatic, but we literally careened down mountain sides on one lane roads. pete was a speed demon. home my day tour tomorrow is just as exciting! i bet i get to see nessie.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

in dublin's fair city...


the ring around the head is for the 2 centuries
of glass making. the spikes on the head are a crown,
and the tail holds a shamrock!


Woke up in Waterford and thankfully tony was able to drive to our hotel because the madness of the ships hadn’t commenced yet. As if last night was bad enough. There were multiple concerts outside our hotel, and FYI irish fireworks last nearly 45 minutes… and are just as loud as American fireworks. Once tony picked us up we headed to the Waterford glass factory. I was so excited to see my 2nd glass blowing factory within one week…not. However, at tony’s suggestion we decided to take the tour, which would last 50 minutes. At this point I was searching for shards of glass to gouge my eyes out. We were fortunate enough to be in a tiny tour group, just us and an older couple. The tour started with an audio visual presentation, this was the closest any presentation I’ve ever seen had come to being a rave. It was in a dark room with techno on and fireworks in between the photos. Mom of course chose this time to dance. I can only imagine what the guide and two other tour members thought as she harassed me.  Once inside the furnace room I was pleasantly surprised. Their technique was actually different than the venitian glass blowers. And they were very close to us so they chatted nicely. One man had on headphones and danced and sang around his workplace. Another man was very friendly and admitted that they do drop pieces and no one gets fired over it. As we progressed to the cutting room we got to watch really closely as they carved the glass. One champagne flute was being marked (they memorize the patterns…100+ of them…but the felt tip pens make a pattern recognizable) and the man on our tour tried to pick it up off the platform and dropped it. So special. I saw the NBA trophy! Go mavs! The workers were so friendly and let us hold pieces and everything. Once in the showroom I discovered the black crystal, which became my immediate favorite. It’s a Japanese artist, John Rocha. Mom got me two votive candle holders from it :) we made a few more purchases then hit the road with jack…I mean tony.
john rocha collection
a baby of the 60 million euro stud.
We were heading for Dublin. On the way was the irish national stud. Obviously since im obsessed with essentially all animals and more specifically horses I was elated. Foals were all over the country side so I was hoping desperately that the stud kept mares and foals on site… and they did!! One of the stallions is worth 60 million euro, so essentially close to 100 million buckaroos. Invincible spirit is his name and he is shockingly ordinary looking.  The foals were adorable and the few mares that were interested were just as sweet. I managed to get creosote all over my coat & partially on my sweater. For you non barn people creosote is pretty much a tar based black paint for fences/chimneys/railroad ties. It doesn’t come out. According to google the acid in coke will help but im hesitant to pour coke on my coat or sweater but we shall see. After that we got back in the car. May I add that it is significantly colder in the car today that most days. Yes tony keeps it an icebox in general but today I lost feeling in my extremities. I believe the temperature in the car is directly correlated to the size of tony’s pupils. The tinier pinprick they are, the more arctic the AC is. We arrived in Dublin only to discover our hotel is outside the city in a suburb. Thanks travel agent, you’re actually a raving moron. Attention family members (and anyone else unfortunate enough to know her) carin chang is a moron, never speak to her again. 

miss you already tony
Our last time with tony was spent driving around Dublin. He gave us a mini tour and searched for an artist district for mom (to no avail). He delivered us to our hotel, which was actually very nice, just far away. I almost cried when I told that adorable man goodbye. A wedding was at the hotel, along with 3 tour busses.  We got settled, and I got sweaty. We soon discovered that our AC in our room was broken so we were moved to a suite, not a bad deal at all.  Then we headed to dinner.  It was an Italian restaurant… and empty. I was fortunate enough to be seated facing a girl who literally cheered when she finally got a glass of wine. She also was made up like someone who was thrown up on by crayola… ORANGE lipstick, literally UT vol orange, and teal, key west water teal, eye shadow. So special. She and her pal only discussed men and weddings at dinner. Only men and weddings & yea sure im all for a girls night, but do you really not even want to comment on the weather? Once in our room we had a great view of the courtyard…where they were setting up for the reception. Kill me now another night of bumpin tunes outside my bedroom window… unacceptable so I threw a homemade bomb out the window. But not really, I took a sleep aid and drifted off to the sounds of the fast & the furious (I believe it was one of the first films, however I’m not a connoisseur) one thing about those movies that never ceases to amaze me is that the drivers never get gas. When we woke up we headed down to breakfast. Once again so entertaining, a girl ate in her pajamas, and mom befriended an older lady who wore a corsage to breakfast. There was a 10 year old boy who still needed his food cut for him. He sadly seemed to be suffering from the plague, and was considerate enough to cough on us, im sure I’ll be dead by morning.  We headed up to claim our bags and checked out.  A new driver picked us up for our trip to the airport. HE WAS A GINGER! He was no tony but I loved him almost as much. Once we got to the airport 20 minutes later (we were told it was an hour away so we were EXTRA early) we were again charged an exorbitant amount of money for our excessive baggage. But they were nicer about it and the tubby little man was kind.  Heading toward security an uptight pinch faced skank in a green uniform told me I needed to make sure that my carry on bag would fit in the small metal cage.  Ignoring the fact that I flew their craptastic airline 4 days earlier and it fit in the overhead bin with no problem, she forced me to shove it in the box. It went in about 1/3 of the way and I told her it would fit on the plane no problem. She said please insert it fully… I promptly shoved my bag into the cage… it took a great amount of force and my camera (a rather expensive item) and my venitian glass horses (which are literally priceless since they’re one of a kind gifts) were in there. As soon as I got through security I checked on everything & lucky for that stupid girl the items were protected enough that no damage occurred. Let me just say that if anything had gone wrong I would I ripped her that ugly green skirt off of her and wrapped it around her pasty white neck.  Flight from Dublin to Edinburgh was quick! And now we’re in Scotland! I’m continually fascinated how I keep entering countries without anyone looking at my passport… its also slightly upsetting because my passport isn’t getting stamps.  Our taxi driver from the airport to our hotel was the Scottish equivalent of a former nascar driver.  Our room was the size of a matchbox & had no AC, not that it was broken, it didn’t exist. So we have now moved to a suite, lucky us again! I’ll update on Scotland later!