Or my vision is failing me and I missed seeing nessie. Although the water in loch ness is literally black so it would be hard to see much of anything. And yes its loch ness. Loch means lake, so old hickory loch… I’ve been wrong all my life. Ness is an obscenely large lake, the world’s population could fit in it…10 times. But our day didn’t begin with the lake, we were well into our 12 hour bus ride before we got there.
This tour was very different from the trip to st. Andrews. For example it started at 8:15… and no one on our bus was really friendly, 4 of them were Asian people so y’all know my thoughts already. One Asian girl in particular held my interest, I believe she had SARS or some animal flu. She sneezed and coughed the whole trip and always checked her tissue for what I assume would be blood. She also drank some syrup twice within 12 hours, and took 5+ pills twice. She is clearly dying. Today’s guide was named mike, and he was just as informative as pete, but much more reserved. He also is a musical man, he played various Scottish songs for us, all day long. And they were great, until mom and other bus riders learned the chorus and we developed some form of an accent-less sing along.
This tour took us into the highlands of Scotland which are beautiful. They’re famous for their highland cows, sadly I didn’t get to pet one. Scotland also has a lot more forest than I thought. These heavily wooded areas are obviously home to multiple mammals so I had my face smashed against a window for 12 hours and I don’t think my nose will ever be the same. However my searching was rewarded, I saw a few Scottish red deer! And a wild goat (on the cruise on loch ness). Mike (our driver) was a fan of coffee stops, he’d pick a photo op stop every now and then and give us less than 10 minutes to snap a few post card worthy shots and then we’d come to what I imagine is the Scottish equivalent of a Podunk boony town and give us 30 minutes… I could probably meet everyone in the town and know their life story within 20 minutes. But on one of the stops we came across a bagpipe player. He wasn’t playing when we discovered him, just posing. So naturally mom and I took the photo op. mid picture this man started playing… I said what the rest of the day anytime someone spoke to the right of me. Im deaf now.
We saw a commando memorial, and that isn’t a monument for someone who never wears undergarments, it has to do with war veterans. However the Indian girl getting her picture taken in front of the statue wasn’t bothered by the wind gusts blowing her dress up and giving everyone a chance to speculate if she was a commando under her tights…
one of the places we stopped was incredible! I love a good waterfall stop. It takes me back to Pocahontas when she’d dive over one. I’ve always wanted to do that but I’ve never been suicidal so the opportunity hasn’t come yet. It was on the way home that we came to this waterfall. It proved quite the hike for some of our less fit passengers. One couple sitting behind us didn’t fare too well. They were red faced and huffing in a foreign language… this same language was spoken on the bus. The entire 12 hours I don’t think there was a collective 10 minutes of silence. By the end of the trip I nearly lost it. While on the boat trip on loch ness I witnessed a fight. This fight took place between two much older, much heavier set men. They were arguing about seating areas for their families. One man warned the other “not to have a friggin coronary” which I found ironic since he seemed one fist shake away from triple by pass surgery. This fight was completely pointless. The boat held 120 people, only 70 something people were on board. Embarrassing for their seated families. Also on the trip today I saw my first Scottish cross dresser…twice! At loch ness I noticed him. He is a man dressing as a woman, he has on a skirt and a bandana with fake hair coming out the back. His bra is stuffed with what I assume would be sand? It was an age appropriate gravitational substance… and his fake butt was my favorite. It gave the illusion that he waddled it was massive. Later at a pit stop he appeared again which is odd, because it was a boony stop. And even more bizarre was that he had changed his skirt within the hour.
Once home mom and I stumbled down the streets of Edinburgh back to the hotel. Room service is now our best friend. The little man who delivers knows our orders (we eat pizza because all Scottish food is disgusting). Sorry this is a day late! But better late than never. I was literally a vegetable after a 12 hour bus tour. No one is meant to be in a cage that long. I can truly understand why hamsters eat their tails off sometimes.
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